


waves

by ferginbabe



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, F/M, Graphic, Hallucinating, Indulgent bullshit, Miscarriage, Overdosing, aftercare in a non kinky way, heavy angst honestly im sorry, human naz, naz caring is a secret, persona - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 19:17:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20158732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferginbabe/pseuds/ferginbabe
Summary: this wasn't supposed to happen, everi.e. my sona miscarries, tries to od, and feral naz takes care of her





	waves

**Author's Note:**

> okay so big bad mood drop yikes but,,, this was an rp idea before and i ended up writing a fic because my mood was incredibly low and i needed to vent but this is based off waves by chloe moriondo

why was this happening to her? out of fucking everyone, it had to be her. out of all of these chances, the one time it actually happens? 

Ren trembled, curling up on the bathroom floor for the fifth night in a row. Sobbing, clutching her chest. she laid where she lost her first ever baby, where she thought she'd finally felt a kick, followed by violent cramps and a clump of red. her head was swimming in the same disgusting fucking clump of cells, thick and red and hurting so fucking much. 

even had she not miscarried, had she not stressed, had she been further into the relationship, there was no way it could have worked. naz wouldn't have wanted it to work. he would have panicked and left, or forced her to abort. maybe he might have lost his head and killed the precious thing inside her. she had no idea, as she barely knew her partner. three months was not enough to cement whether a relationship and child would work, fuck, the idiot acted like one himself.

but she hated how it had gone. why did she have to lose them? why couldn't it have been herself? her head pounded. the girl curled up more on herself, reaching up and clawing at her roots as she sobbed violently, voice breaking and leaving her with open mouthed cries.

stop. it had to stop. dear fucking g o d it needed to s t o p. she sat up with trembling hands, searching through the medicine cabinet for anything. 

thirty minutes. thirty minutes she'd been sitting in the freezing shower, fingers digging into her stomach and pupils blown wide. she was numb, and in a different place. a happier place. her sweet little baby in her arms, cooing happily and gazing up at her with wide blue eyes, just like his daddys. she peered back down at him with her own red, heart melting into a fuzzy little pool of gurgling happiness. she ran her fingers over his cheek, rocking back and forth in a sunny field, twisting a daisy crown together for her sweet little boy. her baby boy.

the moment he was ripped from her arms by the wind, she was screaming. her lungs held out until they couldn't, and she was back in the bathroom. ren looked up with trembling hands, mumbling softly to herself and clutching even more at her stomach, finger nails drawing blood."please. please dont take my baby please dont please-" 

as her boyfriend peeled her fingers and arms from her torso, she went limp in his hold. a very tired naz pulled her out of the freezing cold bath, curling around and mumbling words of fishies into her cheek while brushing the wet soaked hair behind her ears. usually he was the one being held, the one crying in her lap, the one asking her for kisses. but this was okay too. ren turned, sobbing softly as she wrapped her arms tightly around him, focusing on the warm embrace around her. she should let herself be held more often. relax and let him shush her, shush her the same way she shushed her sweet little boy with those same blue eyes. reach up to touch the blonde hair her own little boy would have had on his head. her baby boy was gone. 

she didn't remember much of that night, just being rocked to sleep in his arms on the cold bathroom floor. her head pounded in the morning but not im the same way before. not the thick garbled red mess in the water beneath her. instead it was a violent pounding, and somewhere in the half asleep half awake parallel she could feel fingers brushing her brown hair. she could feel the strong chest next to her and arm wrapped tight, holding her close. a thumb on her stomach, stroking red crescent shaped marks on her stomach. she was safe here. nothing could hurt her, she knew that. he wouldn't let it.


End file.
